Ask the Brain The World's First Computer-Generated Encyclopedia Computer Generated Encyclopaedia

 Ask the Brain! :)
Ok "Brain", what's the deal with ?
 
   In the News - 23 Nov: Barry Bonds  Mitt Romney  Rupert Murdoch  Santa Claus  Pearl Harbor  
 
 
 

Topic: Department of Consumer Affairs

Related:
  Consumer    Department of Foreign Affairs  
  Affairs    California Department of Consumer Affairs  
  Department of Veterans Affairs    California Department of Consumer Affairs  

 
 
 Vital Stats
The Brain has inferred the following facts from reading text collected on the topic:
Favorite website(s):E*TRADE
Favorite possession(s):Credit card,  Apartment
Currently has on their coffee table:Economist,  Food & Wine magazine
Dream job(s):Banker,  Nurse,  Lawyer
Interest(s):Law,  Economics,  Real estate
Likes to wear:Business suits
Favorite online activity(s):Spamming,  Downloading porn
Ultimate fantasy(s):Finding genuinely free porn on the internet
Membership(s):Electronic Frontier Foundation
Worst habit(s):Gambling
Favorite quote(s):"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes." - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
"Vote early and vote often." - Al Capone (1899-1947)
 
 
 Expert Talk
The Brain has selected interesting relevant sentences from the web. It automatically assigned them to some of our fictitious experts based on their personalities.


John Fielding,
CEO

How Consumer Affairs Departments Can Add Net Profit to the Bottom Line by Creating Value for Customers and Employees The after-shocks of September 11th have made an unprecedented and unthinkable impact on sales and growth in nearly every industry in the US and in some cases, abroad.
Position your consumer affairs department to regain the goodwill of five percent more customers than you retain today and your company could realize up to a 95% net profit to the bottom line.
Department of Consumer Affairs announces more than $4 Million in restitution, fines and EITC outreach funds from H&R Block in largest settlement in agency's history.
Brian Mengel,
Civil Servant

Sunset Plan is a licensed funeral director regulated by the State Department of Consumer Affairs Funeral Division and is subject to the Federal trade Commission rules and regulations governing funeral practices in the United States.
The State Department of Banking and Insurance and Division of Consumer Affairs maintain well defined guidelines and regulations protecting all who make advance plans and guarantees that families will be getting all the benefits that are promised.
The Department of Commerce and Consumer Affairs Business Registration Division provides the public with publications regarding securities education.
Dave Simons,
Internet Entrepeneur

When consumer affairs departments align processes, systems and responses with the needs of customers, they create value for customers.
Dan Toomey,
Computer Salesman

While consumer affairs departments aren’t selling products or services, they are selling and making money for the company– they are selling the company back to customers who are dissatisfied or on the brink of defection.
Thomas Owens,
Police Officer

Department of Consumer Affairs Cites Sports Authority for Selling Imitation Firearms.
Bob Greenberg,
Congressional Candidate

Department of Consumer Affairs, and at the national level a book, Divorced from Justice: The Abuse of Women and Children by Divorce Lawyers and Judges.
 
 
 User Talk
Comments from our users:
Got a question? Got an answer? Let's hear it!

Name:


Protection code:

 
 
 Pass this on!
Your friends really should know a little more about Department of Consumer Affairs, don't you think?

Your Name:
Friend's Email1: eg. friend1@hotmail.com
Friend's Email2: (optional)
Friend's Email3: (optional)
Friend's Email4: (optional)
Friend's Email5: (optional)
 
 
Contact Us | What is AskTheBrain? | Terms and Conditions
Feel free to link to this page.

This is a satirical computer-generated website. By using this site, you agree to abide by our terms and conditions.
Copyright Rapid Intelligence 2003. All Rights Reserved.