Ask the Brain! :)

In the News - 22 Nov: Barry Bonds Mitt Romney Rupert Murdoch Santa Claus Pearl Harbor

Topic: Jesus

Vital Stats

The Brain has inferred the following facts from reading text collected on the topic:

Most admires:

Pope John Paul II

Good point(s):

Humble, Patient, Saintly

Personality:

Devout, Rebellious

Bad point(s):

Boastful

Dream job(s):

Priest

Religion(s):

Christian - Evangelical, Christian - Protestant, Mormon

Favorite book(s):

The Bible
The Koran

Favorite religious figure(s):

Jesus Christ, The Prophet Mohammed, Martin Luther

Favorite time of year:

Easter

Favorite quote(s):

"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death." - H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." - Voltaire (1694-1778)
"A watched pot never boils"

Expert Talk

The Brain has selected interesting relevant sentences from the web. It automatically assigned them to some of our fictitious experts based on their personalities.

Albert Graham,
Backyard Pool Drainer

So Jesus was saying that worry and anxiety will not add even the smallest bit to our lives.

Miles Rhodes,
Wine Taster

What was Jesus trying to prove by all his demonstrations of wanting his hands and feet to be handled and chewing and masticating broiled fish and honeycomb?

Chogyam Trungpa Gyatso,
Tibetan Monk

Jesus Christ is the only religious leader whose arrival was predicted prior to his arrival on Earth and who came exactly when and as predicted.
Jesus is born when the days are shortest, and from his birth on they grow steadily longer.
Jesus was not a vegetarian, and even if he were it would have no impact on how a Christian should live today.

Anita Ganesh,
Poet

Jesus is saying that anyone can love the loveable.

Paddy McGuinness,
Newsagent

Jesus was born in a stable in Bethlehem during a Roman census.

Chrissie Tanner,
Homemaker and Mom

Jesus is the size of toddler, but his features are those of an older child.

Khalid Binalshibh,
Taxi Driver

So Jesus was being worshipped as God in North West Turkey.

Mark Harris,
Priest

Jesus was born of Mary through the miraculous conception of the Holy Spirit, thus preserving the sinlessness of Christ.
Jesus was beginning His earthly ministry which first was to the Jews and concerned entrance into the kingdom which will come when Israel repents as a nation.
Jesus Christ is the Son of God, who came to earth as a man to restore the relationship between humans and God which had gone wrong.

User Talk

Comments from our users:

From: mushtaq ahmed 2005-03-04 10:22:55	if jesus is god then why should he asks for saving the people when he was onthe cross
From: westy 2005-04-22 15:26:13	jesus is the son of God.
From: QUENDASHA 2005-06-30 11:19:11	I LOVE JESUS
From: OBSSESSEDCATPEPRSON 2005-08-01 02:51:13
From: OBSSESSEDCATPEPRSON 2005-08-01 02:52:13	I LOVE JESUS THANK HAIL MARY FOR JESUS....THANK THE LORD OF JESUS CHRIST!!!!! :)
From: OBSSESSEDCATPERSON 2005-08-09 02:39:21	mushtaq ahmed u are retarded to talk about jesus christ that way.... and u where molseted so much that u cant even spell or type a sentence.
From: REV. B 2005-09-08 13:12:58	JESUS KNOWS MORE THAN THE BRAIN KNOWS
From: Esperanza 2005-09-17 17:44:45	Yes I belive with all my heart and soul "Jesus, Jose y Maria " are the must beatiful words to say and to hear every day. Thank You Dear God... Amen
From: dude 2006-03-08 13:50:22	Jesus rules!!! AHHHHH!!!!!
From: Jesus 2006-10-12 17:07:47	Hello, I am the all mighty Jesus! And my father whips me...
From: Sam Victor 2006-05-25 04:36:19	Jesus is living forever and ever
From: jesus 2008-09-12 07:49:16	Jesus is God's son, and he died to save our sins. Jesus is the only way we can get to God so if we don't except him we are nothing.

Got a question? Got an answer? Let's hear it!

Pass this on!

Your friends really should know a little more about Jesus, don't you think?

This is a satirical computer-generated website. By using this site, you agree to abide by our terms and conditions.