Ask the Brain! :)

In the News - 8 Nov: Barry Bonds Mitt Romney Rupert Murdoch Santa Claus Pearl Harbor

Topic: Stock Market News

Vital Stats

The Brain has inferred the following facts from reading text collected on the topic:

Favorite possession(s):

Credit card

Most admires:

Warren Buffet, Bill Gates

Favorite website(s):

E*TRADE

Bad point(s):

Greedy

Currently has on their coffee table:

The Times, Economist, Playboy magazine

Politics:

Capitalist

Dream job(s):

Banker, CEO

Favorite TV show(s):

Naked News

Interest(s):

Economics

Likes to wear:

Business suits

Favorite destination(s):

Hong Kong

Ultimate fantasy(s):

Bankruptcy

Worst habit(s):

Wasting money

Favorite quote(s):

"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes." - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
"Behind every great fortune there is a crime." - Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

Expert Talk

The Brain has selected interesting relevant sentences from the web. It automatically assigned them to some of our fictitious experts based on their personalities.

John Fielding,
CEO

Our work is based on daily Price Change/Volume statistics of all stocks traded on the New York Stock Exchange and Nasdaq Stock Market.
Also to educate new investors about trading penny stocks and explain different trading strategies such as stock option plays and keep you informed on the latest stock market news.
The New York Stock Exchange and The Nasdaq Stock Market have similarly adopted significant reforms applicable to listed companies.

Dan Toomey,
Computer Salesman

The new AmSouth Enhanced Market Fund utilizes a computer model to select stocks from the S and P 500.
News about the stock markets and other economic concerns is updated daily, as is a digital version of the paper's front page.

User Talk

Comments from our users:

Got a question? Got an answer? Let's hear it!

Pass this on!

Do Stock Market News proud by spreading the word!

This is a satirical computer-generated website. By using this site, you agree to abide by our terms and conditions.